When a Young Adult Wants to Leave College:

Written By Josh Doyle

Some college students are arriving on campus only to decide within days or weeks that they want to leave. What’s behind these early exits? Homesickness, anxiety, expectations, readiness, and fit can all play a role — and for parents, knowing when to encourage a young adult to work through the discomfort and when to consider a different path isn’t always easy.

Adjustment, Avoidance, or the Wrong Fit?

For parents, that phone call can be alarming. The instinct may be to convince them to stay, immediately bring them home, or start looking for another school. But before making a decision, it is important to understand what is actually happening.

There is a significant difference between a young person experiencing the normal discomfort of a major transition and one who is genuinely struggling in an environment that is not right for them.

The first few weeks of college can be difficult. Students are adjusting to unfamiliar surroundings, new expectations, increased independence, academic pressure, roommates, and an entirely new social environment. Feeling lonely, anxious, overwhelmed, or unsure does not necessarily mean the college is the wrong fit.

At the same time, not every struggle should be dismissed as something a student simply needs to push through.

The question I often encourage families to consider is not simply, “Should they stay or should they come home?”

Instead, ask:

What is driving the desire to leave?

Is the student uncomfortable because this is new and difficult? Are they avoiding something that could ultimately help them grow? Are anxiety or other emotional challenges interfering with their ability to function? Or are there legitimate reasons why this particular environment may not be the right fit?

Those are very different situations and may require very different responses.

Parents do not have to solve the problem immediately. Sometimes the most valuable first step is to slow the decision down long enough to understand what the young person is experiencing.

Supporting a young adult does not always mean removing the difficulty. It can also mean helping them evaluate the situation, identify what they need, and participate in determining what comes next.

There isn't one answer that is right for every student.

The goal should be to make a thoughtful decision based on the individual young person — not simply on the expectation that college is supposed to look a certain way.

Related reading:

“Why Are Some Gen Z College Students Leaving Campus After 2 Weeks?” — The New York Times

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/09/style/gen-z-college-students-quit.html